Racewars Milton Keynes

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I’ve been wanting to visit this bad boy for a while now. I did message Race wars Milton Keynes when they first opened but the cheeky fuckers ignored my message. Anyway the husbeast messaged them and he managed to get us booked in.

Racewars Milton Keynes

The weather was absolutely shocking on the Saturday. I’m talking biblical rain, flash flooding. The type of shit not even a puddle suit could entice me out into. We ended up staying in all day doing a big bag of dick all. There was no way in hell we could do the same on the Sunday so we booked in and off we went.

We didn’t tell the kids where we were going. Maybe not the best idea because then we had Clark asking every few seconds where were going. Turns out surprises in our family are not cute or funny so wont be doing that again any time soon.

We had no issues booking or finding the place. Parking was cheap as chips but do yourself a favour and download the ring go app before you get their as the parking machines weren’t taking cash and it was a right bitch to set up on the spot.

I’ll be honest the booking system is a bit wank their website doesn’t have a booking option. Instead we had to do it via Facebook. Don’t let that put you off though. We only booked in for 30mins too because we had no idea if the boys would like it. Its not cheap but don’t let that put you off either because its 100% worth it (at least it was for us).

What Is Racewars Milton Keynes?

Racewars Milton Keynes is basically a room full to the brim with giant skalextric. I have some cracking memories from when I was growing up. I mean who didn’t? it was one of the top presents when I was little. Then it was a battle of the dad to have the best track. Yeah well these tracks piss all over them.

From the moment you walk in you’re hit with an impressive sight. The kids were buzzing when we got in there. We headed to the front desk and sorted out our payment. After that we all got to pick our own cars. This many seem insignificant but actually it was a fantastic way to personalise the experience.

Elliot chose a yellow car to go with the rest of his unintentionally matching yellow outfit. Definite Dick Tracy vibe going on with him. Clark picked a black one, me a green one and husbeast had an orange one. The lovely lady showed us to our track on the other side of the room.

We had our own track for the whole session (I think this is how it normally goes with a max of 6 people). We got a 5 min warm up and the rules explained. There was a screen above us with our names on (Bit like bowling) This keeps scores aka laps and lap times.

Racing Round The Track

Trying to get a full loop with the cars at the start was nothing short of pathetic. Haha its been a long time and a first for 2 of them since we held a controller for a skalextric. Clark got the hang of it pretty much from the off. Elliot on the other hand took a fair bit of getting used to. You know what though? around half way through he finally got it. Pressing gently meant he came off a lot less.

Once the race had started we were all super competitive and it was hilarious. Every time one of our cars came off we had to run round the giant track to put the fucker back on again. Me and the husbeast took in turns putting Elliot’s back on if he couldn’t reach. We had no idea it would be a workout too. The sheer panic and worry that the husbeast would lap me as I ran to put mine back on track was great. Laughing as he others cars came off the track for pushing too hard was even funnier.

Help Or Hinderance?

The with about 10 mins left of our session some young lad that worked there came over and stood by our track. I’m not sure if he was supposed to be there from the start or not but he started to put our cars back on the track for us. Great right? wrong it took the fun element out of it. The young lad (sorry to say) Couldn’t have given less of a fuck. He clearly didn’t want to be there. He wasn’t fucked if we had fun or not and had zero sense of urgency when the cars came off (clearly had no idea of what was on steak here)

The young lad coming over with his piss poor attituded put a bit of a damper on the end of the session. Me and the husbeast agreed it would have been much better if he had just stayed at the bar chatting to his mate. Then everyone would have been happier that way. Next time we go (and there will be a next time) we’re going to request no help. For us half the fun was the panic of putting your own car back on before it royally fucked up your laps.

Racewars Milton Keynes Stats:

Distance from Bicester: 35 mins
Sat nav: Unit 25 N Tenth St, Milton Keynes MK9 3EL Click to load sat nav
Wheelchair friendly: Yes
Equipment upkeep: 10/10
Cleanliness: 10/10
Facilities: Everything you need
Age range: I’d say from 4yrs plus
Safety: 10/10
Fun factor: 10/10
Dog friendly: No
Pushchair Friendly: Not really a place you’d take one but could ask
Bikes and Scooters: No

Conclusion

We had the best time at RaceWars Milton Keynes. The boys haven’t stopped talking about it since we visited. Its a fantastic indoor day out and so easy to social distance too.

With a bar and so much fun on offer, it pissing it down outside. I was baffled as to why it was so dead. Ok their website is shit, lack of online booking is pretty piss poor but if you ignore all of that it honestly is a cracking activity. Yes I know its not the cheapest but for a special treat you have to take the kids.

My advice would be to ask for either no help if they’re supposed to help. Or to ask for a member of staff that does help to have a bit of personality. Having such a rude, drippy person “helping” really pissed me off and if we’d had him from the beginning then this review would have been a lot, lot different. Maybe this is why they’re so quiet?

We could have easily done an hour so I think next time we’ll go for that. If the weathers better then we’d visit one of the other amazing places that Milton Keynes has on offer too. Clarks declared he wants his birthday party here next year too. Lets hope Covid doesn’t fuck up another birthday for him then.