We’ve been to Abbey meadows once before in the summertime way before Elliot came along and Clark loved it so when I remembered that it had recently had a refurbished play park I thought I’d best take the mini nugget for a play.
Crap Nav
Put it in the sat nav…..shocker the bitch in my phone sent me to a care home (probably thought I needed it more than a play park) I eventually found a car park. It’s pretty much next door to that posh supermarket where everyone wears tweed, cords and has a joules coat…Yep that’s right Waitrose. If you’re only staying for a couple of hours you could park here for free then pop in and buy a bottle of water although paying for parking might work out cheaper 😉
Portaloos from hell
Parked up paid and by this point needed a toilet stop. They usually have toilets in the park but they were shut for a refurb. However they had very kindly put 3 portaloos in their place. Opened the first door and Holy shit! Literally! What the hell is wrong with the person that left that monster!! Onto door number 2 worse!! Is this the same person? My eyes were watering at this point. Door number 3 ok that’s it someone must have died! Has anyone called the ambulance for this person?! They mustn’t have any insides left. I’m normally quite strong but those 3 portaloos in Abbey meadows broke me that day. I’ll never get those visions out of my head. Lesson is never open a portaloo, ever! Needless to say I held it. My bladder needs the exercise after 2 kids anyway.
Onto the bridge. Lovely little spot to feed the ducks, swans and cygnets I just wish we’d remembered to bring some bread or at least some proper duck food that they could turn their beaks up at.
Outdoor pool
Opposite the bridge is the outdoor pool and free splash area. Now that the weather’s turned the only thing you can splash in is a puddle. I will remember to pop back next summer though as it looks simple and nice and I know Clark loved it years ago.
Main attraction was in site. The beautifully, brand spankingly new fully enclosed prison aka play park.
Safe park
Now this park is my husbeasts idea of a safe park (his nickname is safety boy) you can see from the off that the climbing frame has netting over the high bridges and tunnels so there’s no way your skinny little child can slip through the gaps and break something.
The climbing frame in all fairness is pretty awesome. Even more so because there is no way your toddler can climb that beast. Therefore you don’t have to squeeze up after them and get your fat arse stuck trying to catch them. It has a great spiral slide which comes with a thigh melting warning in case the sun comes out and heats up!
Fun for all ages
There are plenty of other things for smaller ones to play with. They have a perfect tiny baby area for new walkers with a lovely tiny slide which is so small you know older kids aren’t going to give a shit about so will probably steer clear of. There are the usual springy face twatters, another bigger slide with steps up the telly tubbie hill, swings for all ages, a zip wire which although isn’t out of the park is on the opposite side to the younger area so hopefully you’ll notice before your toddler gets taken out by a pair of wellies at high speed.
They still have the original tall metal slide from the old park too. Elliot ran straight for it and it was too high and slippy for me not to follow. Wow! If you have a complex about your weight steer clear. I nearly had to go up the steps sideways. This is not a fat friendly slide!
Sensory play
Elliots favourite bit weirdly was the lovely sensory boards filled with balls….metal ones not actual testicles. He stood for ages spinning them round pissing off the other mums with the god awful sound that they made. I could have stopped him but it was a nicer sound than his scream. Plus the mum closest was wearing stilettos she clearly must be well accustomed to pain.
They’ve got lots of other bits too which I’ll let you discover because i’m ranting on far too much. I’d say it’s a good Accessible park for wheelchair users too with what i would think is a wheelchair usable roundabout too although I’m not 100% sure.
To the river
After he went on everything I managed to drag him out to look at the boats, geese, swans and more ducks. Wear your wellies the place is covered in goose shit. It’s not small shit either! It’s impossible to dodge. Elliot had his waterproofs on so at least I could wipe him clean when he fell over.
We walked round into the gardens too. Elliot had a great time chasing the squirrels. He’s mastered the art of creeping up to them then last minute Charging at them. I half expected him to pick up a stick, raise it in the air and scream for freedom in a Scottish accent (braveheart) as he charged. Luckily I don’t think Elliot will ever take up hunting!
Abbey meadows stats:
Distance from Bicester: 31mins
Sat nav: Abbey Cl, Abingdon OX14 3JE (to the car park I used) Click address for navigation
Wheelchair friendly: yes
Equipment upkeep: 9/10
Cleanliness: 10/10 ignoring the portaloos
Facilities: 10/10
Age range: All ages
Safety: 9/10
Fun factor: 10/10
Dog friendly: in areas (not the playpark) but please pick up after them
Conclusion
This place really is stunning there is so much to do and you could easily spend the day there more so in the summer. But still a good few hours in the shitty weather too. The grounds are well looked after (apart from the portaloos) its in the town centre and is right on the river too. This place has is all and what’s great is its all free! Have a look through the photos (don’t worry i didn’t take a photo of the toilets)
Website for Abbey meadow can be found HERE
If you’d like to contact me to discuss anything in my reviews or if you’d like me to review something please feel free to contact me on thefamilyticket@gmail.com
Here’s the link for Half term Halloween activities too. CLICK ME
