Well where shall i start with this little nugget? Afternoon tea was booked for friends birthday at the Feathers in Woodstock. Now firstly I don’t get all this afternoon tea crap but that’s because I’m more of a pint and a packet of scampi fries kids of girl. However I liked the girls whose birthday it was and thanks to a sick bug I couldn’t make the drinking session the night before (more my cup of tea)
We got to Woodstock and found parking straight away. This was on Sunday about 3ish. Now all my friends had dressed pretty nice, I however was still feeling rough and turned up not looking my best (don’t get me wrong I wasn’t in a onsie) my friend took great pleasure pointing out the hole in the arm! Great one.
Nice looking venue
The hotel itself was not bad fairly nice, quirky and clean looking. We were showed to our table which was out the back near the garden (cheap seats more than likely. Cute garden though) I could tell instantly that this wasn’t my type of place.
We were sat down and shown through their menu. HOLY CRAP STICKS £18 for afternoon tea! It better be liquid gold I thought. I’d just had a roast for £16.95 with a free desert in Fringford!
The Feathers Service
The waitress came over and took our order in a half arsed manner. This instantly got my back up. If im paying that kind of money for a cup of tea and some faffy crap I expect a top rate service. Nope this one wouldn’t even crack a smile or maintain any form of eye contact. Now after seeing the service a table nearby recieved I know its not just because she was having a bad day. Nope it’s because the little princess had made a snap judgment on a group of 5 younger women. Probably thought they wouldn’t get a tip. (Now I’m a good tipper normally) the table nearby of middle-aged people continued to get the service I’d have expected for everyone in the place to recieve which just irritated me more. Piss poor service throughout if im honest.
The good company made it better and at this point we were in full catchup mode I.e bitch about everyone we’ve ever known in existence.
The tea turned up and I’ll admit I’m no tea connoisseur but the only difference I could tell between the breakfast tea I’d ordered and a tetley was that a tetley comes in a tea bag unlike this stuff i have to sift.
Portions
Food arrived. Initial response, is that it? Hahaha seriously they’d shoved everyone’s order onto the same plate tower thing. I didn’t have sandwiches thank God. Faffy crap like egg mayo and cress and what appeared to be cucumber on every other one. When I say sandwiches I don’t mean the kind you get out of a Tesco meal deal I’m on about the one you give to your baby who’s just started baby led weaning. Finger sandwich, no crust ? friends ate them all so they couldn’t have been bad.
Food Quality
We all had scones too with clotted cream and jam. Now these i can say in my opinion were nice. Lovely and warm too, microwave warm or oven warm? Who knows. Had to wait for the cream to warm a bit first otherwise it’d have been like using butter straight from the fridge on a slice of Hovis I.e ripped to shreds. The jam was good jam my friend assured me. She could tell it was good jam because it was thick unlike the thin shit you get from Sainsbury’s (her words)
Then on the top tier there were loads of little cakes. They all looked very fancy. I don’t mean the fondant fancies you get in a 6 pack from Morrison’s no these things were posh. Again I was stuffed from the roast so I hadn’t ordered these the girls seemed to enjoy them though. There was a funny fried egg looking one I did try though and it was nice. Couldn’t tell you what it was mind.
Got the bill and by this point the waiter who was serving us at least seemed friendly….I wonder if its because we were leaving but hey ho too little too late. Think we all left a small tip which in my opinion was a lot more than they deserved!
Stats:
Distance from Bicester: 23 mins
Sat nav: The Feathers, 16-20 Market St, Woodstock OX20 1SX
Food quality: 7/10
Value: 1/10
Venue: 9/10
Cleanliness: 10/10
Service: 3/10
Overall experience: 5/10
Food hygiene rating 1-5 : 5 top marks!
Conclusion:
This place is a the epitome of the pretentious faffy bollocks I’ve spoken about before so if you like that type of thing along with piss poor service then by all means eat your heart out. Maybe grab a Greg’s on the way home Though.
I know I’m missing the point of afternoon tea and I’m sure many if you will take great pride in telling me the point, but for now I’ll stick to a cup of tetleys at home and if i ever want to go posh I’ll pop to Costa. I most certainly will not be visiting the feathers again in the near future (I can literally hear all their staff cheer and rejoice at this statement) i wasn’t supposed to review this place as we didn’t take the kids (thank god) but i was so shocked at their service and value for money I could resist. We still had a great afternoon for our friends birthday (please don’t hate me if you’re reading this)
For more pub and restaurant reviews click HERE
If you’d like to have a look at any of the menu’s at the feathers you can do so on their website HERE
